Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Four years, three states, two kids, and STILL one happy couple :)

Yes, its true! Travis and I were sealed in the Spokane Washington temple for time and all eternity four years ago! Four years isn’t even a blink of an eye’s worth of time when thinking of eternity. But I am happy to report we still like each other. ha ha
In these past four years we have: lived in three states (Idaho, Wyoming, and Utah), lived in 9 apartments/houses, added two beautiful girls to our family, bought and sold our townhouse, and had a lot of great experiences, too numerous to list.

Travis is my very best friend. And there is never a dull moment. He has a great sense of humor. And he is an awesome dad. And he provides for his family. What more could a girl want in a husband?

I am always looking for ways to strengthen our relationship. Not because there is anything wrong with it, but just because. Men and women are different, we think different; and people are different in how they were raised, etc…so I am interested in finding ways to better understand, love, and grow together. So recently I bought the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

AND I LOVED IT. And there is so much in there that when you read it, it's common sense…but to be able to have someone put it into words….well, its so ENLIGHTENING.
And I could talk and talk and TALK about this book. Talk your ear off talk. It is that good. And I want to share some of it. First off, from the title…we know there are 5 different languages of love. And every person has one that is their main language. Some people may have two that are equally important, or a main and then a secondary love language. And each and every person has inside an emotional Love Tank. And the problem is, many people are walking around living life with their tanks on empty. So if we can let our partners know our love language, then they can know how to show us love, thus resulting in a full love tank, and that leads to happiness!!! Children have a love language as well and it stays with you for your entire life. So it is important to fill your children's tanks, so they don't seek love elsewhere...

Anyway, it's a great book...and I recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it. I really don't even have time for extra reading right now...because of school but I couldn't put this book down. There are a few tricky things about love languages. Yes, there are only 5 different ones but there are different dialects within each one. So in some cases, you need to speak a certain dialect of that love language.

One thought I liked was in the chapter about quality time...which is Trav's main language and my secondary one. "A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. ... Togetherness has to do with focused attention."

And there is a chapter called "Love is a Choice". Everyday we must make the choice to love our spouse, to show him or her we love them by speaking their love language. Chapman says if the actions that correlate with our partner's love language do not come easily or naturally for us, that makes it an even greater expression of love, because you are choosing to give your spouse what they need, to meet their emotional needs. The author said, "Meeting my wife's need for love is a choice I make each day. If I know her primary love language and choose to speak it, her deepest emotional need will be met and she will feel secure in my love." See...common sense, right?? Now if only every person in the world knew what their loved ones love languages are, think of the miraculous outcome, the potential! Seriously, buy this is awesome. I got it at Wal-Mart. And I am sure you could find it in any book store as well.

Happy 4th Anniversary, babe. I love you so much! And even more than I did in those early, "in-love euphoria" days. Because what continues to develop is deeper and more meaningful. Recently a girl friend of mine asked me why I love my husband. So I listed some things...and then she asked, "Do you still get butterflies?" And I said it's not necessarily an everyday, all the time thing. But yes...there are moments and times when I do. Last night I asked Travis if he could go back four years would he still marry me? And he said yes, he would be even more sure about that decision now then he was 4 years ago :) Aw! How sweet is he?! So here's to another four times eternity years together! To more growing, loving, laughing, and feeling blessed to be able to call each other ours. And now, I will stop for those of you who are nauseous at the sight of all this mush. But I wanted the world to know that Travis is my everything and my opposite who completes me :)


Kimi Jean said...

"A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. ... Togetherness has to do with focused attention."

This is the most accurate quote ever!

It's something I wish Brad better understood.
Because just "sitting by me on the couch while he plays video games" doesn't do it for me!

Esther Noelle said...

Ahh! I've so been meaning to read this book! I've owned it for years I just haven't read it yet. I think Rob and I need to read it together!

Loved seeing some of your wedding pics! Happy 4 years!

Latissa and Scott Graham said...

I am that girl friend you mentioned that asked you that question huh? I love asking that question, because it really makes you stop and think, and be grateful. Love you Jenna